I’ve been 29 for 6 years

When I was twenty three, I married El Senor. I also had Baby Gurl eight months later. Due to complications she came five weeks early. I’m not really sure why, but over the next few years, I could not remember how old I was. I broke my ankle when I was twenty five. At the immediate care, (That’s a story for another day, maybe a venting day) the nurse asked me how old I was, I said twenty three. El Senor looked at me and said, “No you’re not!” I swore I was, then did the math and sure enough, twenty five.

I have a birthday coming up. I’ll admit, I’m not looking forward to it. I make the joke when people I barely know are rude enough to ask how old I am, I’ll say, “I’m twenty nine. . . And I’ve been twenty nine for six years.” They laugh and I cringe. Why do we rush the years when we are younger dreaming of the day we will be the grown up, and then once the day arrives, we dread it and want to turn back time.  It’s because even though childhood is fun, it’s not freedom. Adult hood is freedom, but with responsibilities. I think we really spend much of our time wishing for another time, when what we really should do is just be. Be in that moment. I should enjoy my few gray hairs, it’s not like they are going to go away, in fact they are going to grow friends. I should appreciate my few smile lines. After all I’ve earned them from having a life of laughter and happiness. And those “Frown lines” aren’t frown lines at all, but rather concentration lines.

That being said, I wouldn’t trade this past year for a hundred years as twenty nine. I’ve grown in so many ways that I didn’t believe was possible. I’ve received clarity, and am finding my way. With growing and clarity comes the aches and pains associated with such change. I don’t know what tomorrow holds, and that’s OK. I do know more changes are on the horizon. I look forward to 2014.

You Hate My Cross (a poem)

I know you hate my cross but I love it.
You hate everything that it represents.
All the times you wrapped it around the rear view mirror,
I’d roll my eyes while you demanded you needed to see clearer.

It’s just a little bit of wood metal and a rope.
But it reminds me of a time when I had little hope.
That was before you and the kids and our beautiful life.
Before I ever thought someone would make me their wife.

I got it with the metro and kept it in the impala,
Now the impala’s gone, I was scared you left it on purpose.
It was back in 98 when I needed to escape away from him.
Bad breakups are called bad for a reason.

In a small mexican town that was built into a hill,
With a crystal clear brook cut between the trail,
I went through a church carved out of the stone,
Into a cave I felt so alone.

Before I could ask the Virgin Mary to help me understand,
A nun shoved a cross on a rope into my hand. 
She chastised me in Spanish and I just looked at her blankly,
Knowing that God would understand her as easily as he would understand me.

That crucifix kept me safe till the day I met you.
And it kept a us safe together every day since it’s true.
Because God has watched over us even when we haven’t looked out for him.
Even when we didn’t look out for ourselves and what separates us from him.

So the next time you finger my ugly brown cross, before you roll your eyes,
Remember that this is a part of who I am, raw, uncut with a few good tries.
When we put it in the next car remember all it represents.

The road I took that led me to you.
The hope, love and trust that I believed were true.
I know you hate my cross but I love it.
I love everything it represents.

In Passing (A Poem)

In Passing.

Lying in bed, pretending to sleep,

So I can hear the rhythm of your heartbeat.

Driving on a dark road with my hand wrapped in yours,

Just so I can feel you close.

Touching your hair, tracing your face,

Memorizing everything there is about you,

In passing.

These are the simple things I hold on to.

These are the moments I need

To get me through the coming days.

Remembering where we sometimes are,

In passing.

Laughing while you cook and I wash the dishes,

Flirting with brushed touches and gentle jabs.

Slow dancing in the living room when no one is looking,

Sneaking pecks of kisses in between the turns.

Looking into your smiling eyes, feeling content.

But it only stays long enough to remind me,

It’s in passing.


An eighteen hour drivers probably too much time to spend inside my brain. As I drove while my family slept and listened as my children talked when El Señor drove I made a few silent observations that made me both smile and sigh contently. This post may be more for myself later to look back on as I’m bundled up on a cold Indiana winter day, when I miss summer, my kids because they’re in school, or whatever irritations winter brings because there are plenty.
I digress. Here are my vacation observations. They may not mean as much to you but hopefully you’ll laugh too.

1. I don’t understand why Tennessee welcomes you to it as your heading south on 24 and have been in the state for two hours. I mean I get it if you go out of the state for a few miles and come back in but where is the welcome sign at the Kentucky/Tennessee border. That’s the accomplishment. That’s when it matters when you’re like am I in in Kentucky or Tennessee? In the middle of the night state lines are accomplishments.

2. Don’t beat yourself up when you realize five hundred miles in that you forgot something even if it’s important. I forgot my protein shakes, workout mix drink, and soap. But I remembered UNDERWEAR. Hooray for me! I’m on vacation. Besides I’m sure they’ll have a vitamin shop somewhere near me.

3. I should have confiscated his the kazoo.

4. Lilman: Does it ALWAYS rain in Florida?
Me: five minutes at a time, yes it does.

5. The highway is full of migraters. And people will pack their cars up every which way. There’s the tarped luggageon the roof rack, which was our method last year. Trash bag covered, gimpy hard covers and perfectly packed travelers. I say get yours however you can. And make it count.

6. I love watching my little ones be kind to each other. They don’t have the distractions of other friends and Internet. So they talk and hug on each other. It might be my favorite.

7. That damn kazoo!

8. The farthest plate I’ve seen is Arizona. El señor: Ontario.

9. I still don’t mind driving through the mountains. I still mind driving through Atlanta.

10. Me: I’m hongrier than. A hostage.
Lilman: how do you know how much an ostrich can eat?
Kids are funniest when they don’t intend to be and when you least suspect it.
11. Faded Mohawk-mullets are popular in Florida this season.
I don’t get it.
12. Sometimes a salt-water pool is better than the ocean.

Let me (A poem)

I want to be your blanket.
I want to lie across you
with my head on your chest.
I move with you in a rhythm all our own.
Let me be your blanket.

I want to be your food.
I want you to feast on me for hours.
I want to know that I fulfilled you.
Your lips ripe with my juices.
Let me be your food.

I want to control your mind.
I want to steal your thoughts.
I want you to think of me with secret smiles.
Your time spent replaying our shared moments.
Let me control your mind.

Ode to the gym

I don’t do it to feel good,
Because it only feels good afterward.
I didn’t start because I suddenly needed it,
I’ve always needed it.
I didn’t do it to have a hot body,
That doesn’t happen over night.
I didn’t begin this journey to fail.

I go hard everyday for myself,
I’m not here to impress anyone.
If I fall I get right back up,
If you knock me down you better be faster than me.
There are no compromises.
There are no excuses.
There is only me.

The Butterfly Migration Cover Contest

The Butterfly MigrationThe rules are simple.

1. Copy and save the cover image from this post.

2. Make it as many profile pictures and avatars as possible.

MySpace *Yes I just went there*

3. Tweet and tag me so I know to add your name to the drawing.

4. The winners will be picked June 5, 2013

What you get:

Two winners will be drawn randomly, and the more places you put the image the more chances you have to win. Eligibility is also dependent on keeping the cover as your profile picture through the end of the contest. Each winner will receive an e-copy of The Butterfly Migration and a $25.00 Amazon gift card.

Copy and paste the following messages for easy entry:


The Butterfly Migration will be available on May 21st. I want to win a free e-copy from @Mia Castile


The Butterfly Migration drops 5.21 @miacastile I want to win a free e-copy and amazon gift card #tbm #tbc


#tbm #tbc #Thebutterflymigration drops 5.21. I want to win a free e-copy from @miacastile and #entwinedpublishing

You may have to friend and follow me if you don’t already, but remember the more places you put the cover the more chances you have to win.

Facebook: Mia Castile

Twitter: @miacastile

Instagram: @miacastile

Google+ : Mia Castile

The New Myspace: Mia Castile

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Butterfly Kisses Cover Reveal

Day two of my 3 day cover reveal is here. I’m so excited to share this cover too. This was such a fun experience, and working with the models and team at Q7Associates and Talent Fusion just made everything flow smoothly.  Here is the Butterfly Kisses new cover. What do you think? I love the romance of it and the vivid colors. Tomorrow will be a big day because we are dropping The Butterfly Migration, so be sure to keep a look out for that. Until then, have an amazing day.ImageImage

Becoming a Butterfly Cover reveal

In all of my excitement from the new covers and working on formatting the new book I completely forgot to post my 1st cover. I’m a dork, but I’m me, right? What else is new. So I figured, I can add something special to my cover reveal post. I usually don’t post these, but I think these covers are so amazing. Enjoy. Let me know what you think by leaving a comment below.

Becoming a Butterfly